


"Magnus, I'm drunk"

by candidshot



Series: episodes [14]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Drunkenness, M/M, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 02:58:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14439999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candidshot/pseuds/candidshot
Summary: Not long after Alec returned to the Institute to sober up, Magnus busted through the door and demands, “Alexander, take it back!"prompted by S03ep06





	"Magnus, I'm drunk"

Not long after Alec returned to the Institute to sober up, Magnus busted through the door, “Alexander, take it back! It’s not your problem. It’s our problem. Yours and mine and you growing ‘old and feeble’ as you put it, is the least of our problem”.

But when Alec is just blankly looking at him, in a sort of lazy haziness, Magnus walks closer. “Alexander, did you hear what I just said?”

However, Alec’s eyes are still hazy, a loose smile moving his lips as he pulls Magnus towards him. “Magnus, I’m drunk”, a low chuckle leaving him.

“What?” Magnus exclaims, using a finger to tilt Alec’s head back to properly look at him, “Alexander, you got drunk without me?”

Alec stares back, a languid yet a beautiful bittersweetness with every blinking of his eyes. “I got drunk because of you”.

“Me?”

“Magnus, I don't know what to do”, Alec starts, his grip tightening. “Like now, I see you and I see me. In twenty years, I also you see and I see me and it’s the same in another twenty or thirty years and if I push my luck, sixty years will pass and I’ll see you and I’ll still see me too but then this future of us will eventually stop. Me dead and gone is one thing but when I saw you that morning going through your treasure box, even though your back was turned, I could sense the weight of the melancholy and loss that you alone will have to carry. God forbids it but even in death, be it my arrowhead or my spatula, I’ll be a burden to you and— “

“Alexander, I — “

“Let me finish, Magnus… you wanted me to talk about it so let me talk”. But by then, the tears are brimming, making a glossy swirl in Alec’s eyes. “Magnus, you said you kept those mementos so you’ll never forget as the years go by but— “

“Alexander, hey— “

“No, listen to me, Magnus… because if I don’t say it while I have the courage, then my selfishness in wanting to always be with you and to always have you be with me will condemn you”.

“Alexander, what are you saying?”

So Alec presses Magnus’s fingers to his mouth and kisses them. “If and when the day comes and I die— “

“Alexander, don’t—“

“Magnus, if and when I die, I want you to forget me. I don’t want you keeping mementos that will only remind you that I left you alone. I can’t bear it, Magnus. I can’t bear you being sad. So it will be OK to forget me. Because you only deserve happiness – you deserve the best happiness in this world and even when and if I am gone, I want you to have it”. 

Like a drizzle, a single drop of water splashes on Alec’s forehead… then another hits his cheeks until steadily, the tears keep falling like raindrops from Magnus’s eyes. Magnus leans over and buries his face in Alec's hair and hugs him. “And this is exactly why, Alexander”, he sniffles. “This is exactly why I want to cherish each moment with you. And if one day, luck and fate abandon us, the way you love me and the way I love you is exactly why I would never… I will never want to forget you – forgetting you is impossible, Alexander. I won’t allow it. So until whenever, I’ll carry you with me”.

Hugging each other tight, they cry and cry – their tears wetting their hands and their clothes and—

“I might’ve gotten snot in your hair”, Magnus sniffles, ruffling Alec’s hair.

Alec wipes his eyes, “well I already got some on your designer clothes so call us even”.

A tiny giggle leaves Magnus's lips, as he wipes away the tears from Alec’s eyes. “You’re a terrible drunk, Alexander”.

Alec manages a throaty laugh. “Just don't tell Izzy or Jace or even mum".

"I don't know", Magnus hums, "sounds like good blackmail material to me. Maryse and I could even bond more".

"You wouldn't dare".

“I'm a Prince of Hell, Alexander. Don't dare me".

A smug smile then suddenly rides Alec's lips. "Talk and you'll never again get to eat French toast comparable to Julia Child's".

Magnus chuckles and holds out his hand ready for them to portal home. "I can't tell if you're a sneaky drunk or an adorable drunk".

Alec laughs, "Actually, I like them both".

"We'll find a way, Alexander”, Magnus tells him, holding out his hand. “That's what I came to tell you. Not _you_ , but _we_. So let's live in the _now_ but as the years go by, whatever you want and whenever you’re ready, I'll use the last drop of my power and we'll find a way".

And just so, Alec swings Magnus’s hand in his and gives it a light squeeze. "I know", he answers, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you. I’m ready".   

\---

_magnus x alec[](https://twitter.com/hashtag/Shadowhunters?src=hash)_


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